Thursday 21 July 2011

Anxity crushes not only your spirit but your potential too!

The uncertain incidents happeninngs in life would appear more like victimizing us in particular... that is the point one gets dejected... I had never let such ( many such ) incidents to put me down.. I had seen through and had the end result to my favour... ironically I have earned a name as ADAMANT PERSON!!!!



I was in my sixth standard at railway school and I was immersed in the routiene of the school, where starting from Chandra till me, while I was in my first standard Chandra was in her eleventh standard.. and in between, Jaya, in 10th, Bala in seventh and Raja in fourth.. Hence it was no no secret about each class teacher, subject, class rooms ... as we had the habit of talking it out.. I started to look in different aspect, wanted to venture out from the shackles of the tradition... It would be so silly of me to bluff my Mom that I had not played during interval session at the school, some how they would know, thatI had been playing- It would be either, my Grandma would have seen me while going to hospital, or the servant who takes the lunch would have seen me on his way, or the worst possibility, people who watch us playing, admiringly would have talked to my parents.. as our family had been in that place for almost 40-45 years...While the immediate reference to your activities goes to the kids of my age in the neighbourhood, - Krishnan, Srikanth, Ananth, Ram, Baktha, Prasad, Ganesh, Kumar, and sometimes when things little murky in comparisson


Somehow. I had influenced my Mom to let my Dad get me the admission in St. Joseph's school, that is away from Golden Rock, and none knows.. our family ( I assumed so).. After a great struggle, I entered the school encountring the drama, my admission was not accepted and meanwhile we had taken the TRANSFER CERTIFICATE from the Railway school. I was sttuck like anything and had no idea, what would happen to me... my only focus was to join the St. Joseephs, I had to stage hunger srike at home and Mom was pittying me and made my Dad to forego all his principles, getting me a reference letter from one of the acquaintance , who was a priest in one of the church.. and eventually I joined the school... Later I was stumped to root to know, half the teacherrs know my Dad and I had no way of escaping the Muthu Pillai Family ghost...!!!



I had been proactive with my curriculum activities... I was so enthusiatic, that I had to be warned and pulled back from sporting activities, mentioning of my fractured arm.. time and again.....nevertheless it was once that, my over anxiouness had ruined my attempt to be a acclaimed football player.. the preceding accident where I had fractured arm and word of caution from the Doctor Suryaprakash Rao had extinguished my dream...nevertheless it was once that, my over anxiouness had ruined my attempt to be a acclaimed football player.. the preceding accident where I had fractured arm and word of caution from the Doctor Suryaprakash Rao had extinguished my dream yet,I was rather privileged to get admitted in St. Joseph's College Higher Secondary School against all odds, while I had taken my Transfer Certificate and even then my admission was not thru I was blindly adamant to get the change , to get out of the traditional acknowledgement of not yours but by your elders( incidentaly calling - Chandra or Bala or Govindaraj ) down the line I am invicible. That was my prime concern for me to migrate school but the turning of the events has pushed the heart to my mouth, whilst I had my T.C. issued from Railway Mixed High School at Ponmalai, Trichirapalli, my admission at St. Joseph's, Trichirapalli was held for reason not known to me,My Dad such an workaholic refused to accompany me the next day, I was left in lurch with my Mom rattling my Dad that went to deaf ears that day, I was quite influenced by - Mahatma Gandhi's , Ramakrishna Paramahamsa's autobiography's that i had lent ears as stories while I was going to Sharada Devi Bhajan Mandali, Ponmalai until I was in Trichy.- I went on hunger strike, not talking - eating - playing or to worst not coming out of the room... later end of the day Dad agrred to come along to school and with strokes of co incidences, my Tamil teacher- Mr. Dhiraviyam his brother was working in Railway workshop and staying in the quarters and also Mr. Rayan 8th std my first year was interesting, we were 100 students in a class. ( English Medium) apart from that there were class sections upto "H" sections... in each standards..!!! I was first amazed later.. furious, while I was to be humiliated for silly mistakes in front of 100 oddd classsmates.. it would be such a shameful situation... my class teacher Mr. Santiagu ..I admired his way of teaching were he made me so uncomfortable after initial brash handling of me in the class, ( again Mr. Ryan who had me recommeded, did cross over once my class eight while he was the class teacher of "D" section and exchanged few words with my class teacher.. after that, though I was not given special treatment.. but I was considered a bit .. then after the Sports Day, I became a little special while I stood in the winners podium where my photo was posted on the school notice board..Then eventually I was participating in the School quiz competition, my circle of acquaintance, was expanding, Anand, Prabhu / Chenniappan, Sethuraman, Padbanaban, Balaji, with whom I began having my lunch in the front lawn of the school, then my circle during my journey to school in train.. at times by bus.. It was fun and adventure..!!! My best pal was SATISH S. SINGH, a quite and timid guy, incidentally his Dad was a doctor at the Railway hospital,!!!!! ( Can you get rid of your shadow...)where I had guys- Satish, his brother Rajesh, Alex, then Prasad and Venkatesh from E.R. Higher Secondary School, Then there were girls too from Holy Cross and Seethalakshmi College and the quest to get rid of shadow spy was a myth it never happened.. even now the world has shrinked so small that while I was in London too I had individuals.. refering to days in Golden Rock, Trichy life...

My attempt to get into the main stream sports activities would get dumped on and off due to fractured arm, alibi..!


My Brother in laws both related to education one as Professor and other was the Principal in School, I assumed that I was under their prying eyes, made me extra cautious.. in my academics. the other brother in laws were also in the education field.. where we would eves drop on their experience in evaluating the performance of the students in the board exams... in a way it gave me a fair idea and never the less at St. Joseph, the teachers had extra care in professing us, we in total did well 865 appeared of which 850 had successfully passed S.S.L.C. and I had 410 out of 500 marks in my S.S.L.C. examination!!!!which was well acknowledged by one all in our family.. Both Chandra and Jaya after their marriage had been home for vaccation when my result came, were proud of my performance.. stating that as Mom's pet, I have proved myself..!!!!

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